Intro to me & looking forward

Life can be a little crazy at times, but that's okay because deep down I think we're all a little crazy. Like most people my age I think my life is spinning out of control. Life seems to be coming at me about a million miles an hour and I am definitely not prepared for any of it.

So here's a little bit of that story so you and I can get to know one another...

My name is Jessie, I'm a 17 years old and I'm a Mormon. I state this first because I feel that itself makes up me and everything about me or that I aspire to be. It'll probably be very prevalent in the posts I make, because it plays such a huge role in every aspect of my life. I like writing, reading, traveling, exploring the outdoors, socializing, and riding horses. I'm an extrovert, a people watcher, history buff, an unapologetic Dr. Pepper addict, and a flaming conservative. I like deep and intellectual conversations, but no more than I like jokes and laughing hysterically. I like being informed and I know what I want in life. I'm a bit of a perfectionist with myself, but there's my downfall. Life isn't perfect and neither am I. That being said I get it in my head that I can't say no, that I should be able to be doing everything, and doing everything perfectly. Well for someone as imperfect as me that doesn't usually work out. Usually this leads to me running around with my head on fire(obviously not literal) doing most things in a very imperfect fashion, and then I wonder why I'm stressed;)

I have a job that I work for after school almost everyday, and am in charge of taking care of my grandparent's horses while they are away on a senior LDS mission, I'm enrolled in college classes at school and have 3 very big tests coming up that I need to pass in order to get the credit for those classes, and probably more homework than I have time for. I have callings at church and friends and family that I would like to spend time with and I'm human. So when all is said and done I'm physically and emotionally exhausted and when I crash there is always something that get's left undone or if I'm lucky, half done. Well I probably just described how 90% of the people on earth feel constantly. A normal day for me and the majority of people goes something like this. 

Up at 5:45 to shower, 6:00 family scripture study, 6;30 getting ready, 7:00 leave for school, 7;30-2:30 at school, 2:30 leave for work, 3-6;30-7ish work, 7 drive home to do homework, check on horses, clean stalls, ride horses, study, church or family activities, or chores etc. (depending on the day or what I have time for), and finally get in bed sometime between 11 and 2am. Now this is not meant to be me throwing a pity party or anything because I know I do much of it to myself and or things cannot be avoided and are simply part of growing up. And though that has proved to be such a pain, it is also such an adventure.

I've reached the point in life that most reach where tired is no longer a feeling, but something ingrained in your personality that you've just learned to deal with (thank you Dr. Pepper). That point where you're regretting every nap you protested as a 5 year old and would give anything just to get in a 15min snooze one day, which you can't do because you know you'll end up waking up not 15 min later but  5 hours later, not knowing where you are or what day it is. Yeah, I know you've experienced that, you're not the only one. Life is exhausting, let's face it.

But I think this is where we need to alter our view on life. If we're only seeing life as today or the list of things we need to accomplish then we're never going to get anywhere, and we're definitely not going to be happy. Because chances are today probably sucked and you probably have way more things on that to do list than you mathematically have time for (one more thing on me, I'm awful at math;) You're not going to feel like you're accomplishing anything. I'm not saying "don't live in the moment", because you would be right we need to enjoy right now, but I'm saying don't dwell on what's stressing you out now or what's not going right in your life at this exact moment. Years from now you'll laugh at the things you worried about now because things probably worked themselves out. Live in the moment and make those small steps everyday because the small things we do everyday are going to turn into a bright bright future. It's about the eternal perspective and knowing God has a paln for us, and everyday if we're doing the important things,everything else will fall into place the way it should.
"God cares a whole lot more about who we are and who we are becoming than about who we once were." -Dale G Renlund
As long as we're working and wanting to be better, life is going to be okay:)
Thanks for listening to the rant, sweets, from now on posts will have more of a direction and purpose.